Race for Life

We did it - in the Bridlington sun, Lara and I made our way around the 5K course in about 40 minutes and I'm so proud of the £270 we have raised so far for Cancer Research UK. Obviously, it's a charity that is very close to my heart and I only hope that they can find a way forward so that fewer people have to suffer at the hands of this horrible disease.

The day wasn't as difficult to get through as I thought it may be, the anticipation was worse.....I started tearing up in the car as we approached Sewerby Hall, seeing more and more people dressed in pink and wearing the back signs telling tales of those they had lost and of those people who are currently suffering. I had a little cry as my friend Becky pinned my back sign to my shirt but I held my head up and looked to the sky, a sheet of blue - just beautiful and that was enough to get me through the moment. My message was simple - I was taking part for My Mum.

Of course with thousands of people attending these events, it stands to reason that you can't park particularly close to the starting line - or finishing line for that matter! I know how far away we had to park - it was just past the 2K post on the course! So, we trundled 2K to the field and I joined the other runners.... I found Lara who was doing the race with me and we were straight away interviewed by Andy Comfort as he was presenting his Sunday Brunch programme live on BBC Radio Humberside. He asked Lara about her (lack of!) preparation and we had a giggle but he was more serious with me and asked about my reasons for taking part. I was pleased I could talk about my mum without losing any clarity....that's a huge difference from even a few months ago really. So, warm up done we met a few of the listeners and friends who had come along to support us... One of them being Pabs, whose name you may see popping up on my blog comments from time to time :-) It was lovely to finally put a face to the name after all this time and I hope we can meet up for a chat and a brew before too long!

So, it was time to set off.....we headed for the the joggers flag as we hoped to jog a bit and run a bit....which we did. The heat did make things slightly more difficult and tiring but I learnt a very useful lesson - it's impossible to run down hill in a breeze wearing bunny ears. So now you know!

I had my mobile phone going with some music to keep us going along the way too, though with my phone on my arm in an armband it wasn't so easy to control which song was coming next....this meant we had some rather questionable soundtracks choices....including Sunday Bloody Sunday from U2 and Therapy?s Screamager....oh and the Nolans twice! I know. What can I say? I have eclectic music tastes!

The finishing line in sight we managed to run the last part of the course and we were given our medals. After posing for a few photos we collapsed under a tree.....my head was pounding and I could have drunk a swimming pool! I wish we had more time to catch up with people afterwards but it wasn't to be and we had another 2K to walk back to the car, of course!

Next stop Bridlington for some chips and then back to Hull to watch the England Germany game in the pub...least said about that 90 minutes the better eh?

All in all I really enjoyed it, and I'm sure we'll do it again next year. It was a really lovely atmosphere and though I was worried about holding it together, on the day it was actually fine. I'm proud of myself on all counts and I know mum was shining down on me as brightly as the sun was :-)

Sports Day Shenanigans

Today was sports day at Harry's school and yes, he was fully recovered and able to take part, thank goodness! The sun was shining and so as the year 1 and 2 children paraded out to take their seats there was an equally long parade of parents heading towards them all carrying suncream and hats.....me being me hadn't thought that far ahead and had to borrow some cream from another mum (ssshhhhh......don't want everyone knowing!)

All the children did ever so well, bless them. Little legs carrying little bodies as fast as they could, the determination on their faces as they pushed themselves (maybe the England football team could learn a lesson or two here...?) There was one incident of a little lad falling at the end of the sprinting race and landing on his head, cue a few tears and there were a few trip ups here and there but nothing that couldn't be sorted with a quick pat on the head.

The egg and spoon race seems to have been replaced by the ball and spoon race, heaven only knows why...some bizarre rule that I can't work out.....are not allowed to be egg-ist anymore? Thing is, eggs don't roll....balls do.... so as they fell off the spoons, which they frequently did, even more chaos was caused as they rolled into the other childrens' paths.

The bean bag on the head race is another old favourite too, Harry struggles with this, his hair is very soft and silky and not conducive to holding a bean bag, I couldn't help giggle when I overheard one of the dads saying he'd have to talk tactics to his daughter for next year and tell her to pick the bag with the least beans so it stays still more easily......honestly, does it really matter??!!

The obstacle course was nothing short of hilarious.....they had to run, go through a hoop, hop for a bit, run with a ball on a bat thing and then do the whole thing again back to the start.....could any of them work out when to run and when to hop? Could they hell as like....they were trying to hop over the hurdles, hop while carrying the ball..... and then running on the flat bit on which they were supposed to hop. All this while the teachers are shouting at them to hop, in Welsh of course.....'Hopio!'...... It was very funny to watch.

So all in all a good day was had. Harry did well, but then I would say that I suppose, I'm ever so slightly biased :) It was also good to know that there was no repeat of a particularly bad memory I have from one of my primary school sports days....We were doing the wheelbarrow race. I was on my hands and my best friend, Hazel was holding my legs. Everyone else had finished and we were last on the course, all eyes on us.....when Hazel stood on my wraparound PE skirt and it fell off. Devastated? Trust me, it doesn't even start to cover it........ literally!

Ups and Downs

What a couple of days.....don't you just hate it when the littlies are ill? You just feel so damn useless and helpless as much as anything else. Harry came down with the mother of all tummy bugs on Weds night....I was up with him every hour from half midnight til half six in the morning.....*yawn* though bless him, he coped ever so well. Thursday should have been their school trip but it turns out TWELVE children in his year group were off on the same day with the same sickness bug so the decision was taken to postpone the trip....at least he hasn't missed it. Anyway, long story short he finally started to return to his normal, chaotic, hyper, noisy self this afternoon and, as I type this, he is by my side playing on the Wii....it's nice to have my bestest little buddy back :-)

I still managed to go to my psychic development course last night as H was able to stay home with Daddy. I just have so much fun on that course. Last night was the first of our two on clairvoyance and I just felt so open and one with everything we were doing. One of the other girls on the course did a 3 card spread for me which was spot on, she did a great job and I did a 3 card spread for someone else too, who equally seemed very happy and told me my reading made a lot of sense to him. I just love doing it and would really enjoy getting back into it all again as much as I can and as my confidence increases :-)

Today, spent most of the day Harry sitting, did manage a brief jog in the park, race for life is just over a week away and we have now raised £270 which I am over the moon about. This weekend is all about me and my little chappy - really looking forward to it.

Love and light xxxx

The hole vs the whole

Good grief, has it really been a whole week since I last blogged? I suppose it must be.

Harry's audition went well. I was so proud of him, he sang loudly and clearly and was interviewed twice too, not sure if he's through to the next round but of course it doesn't really matter. He had fun and boosted his confidence which is the whole point.

I'm having a bit of a blah day today, struggling a bit to keep myself grounded, no matter what I try to do. I really feel I am moving along my spiritual path at quite a rate in some ways and yet in other ways I seem stubbornly stuck. I am accepting of this situation, as much as I can be and I do trust that the universe will support me through the process of growing and opening but that doesn't mean to say that some days it's just bloody hard going.

I have done a lot of clearing from my life in this last twelve months, I regret none of it and I have gained in so many ways. What it has brought to the fore, however, is that there is a huge great big ruddy hole within myself that I have the tendency to try to fill with a never ending conveyor belt of fads and obsessions, be they plans, treatments, hobbies or even people. This is a bad thing. It doesn't work and inevitably leaves me feeling even more empty as each passing phase comes to its end. I need to find a way of filling this hole with me, a way of making the hole whole as it were.

I suppose at least I am aware of the situation now.....it means I spend a lot of time sitting on the edge of the abyss staring down into it, desperately fighting against my instinct to fill it up again quickly. Thing is, when I fill it, it's like pouring water into a hole in the sand, the water leaks out through the bottom and before you know it the hole is empty again. I need to find more sand to fill the hole with. Sand that will stay put.

Ah well, there's my musings for tonight. I'm just going to write my psychic development journal and then 10 minutes meditation before sleep.....love and light xx

On a small person (that's not me!)

Thank you so much for the lovely comments on my blog, I'm still not back online and blogging daily but I'm hoping to work back up to that eventually.

Things are still rather hectic, chaotic and ever so slightly crazy here at the moment - nothing new there then eh? I seem to be having to plan every minute to make sure that I get everything covered and sorted out....even as I type this I've remembered that I've not got my bag packed to go to the gym straight from work tomorrow as I won't have time to come back for it...aarrgggh....I hope I remember in the morning!

Tomorrow, my little darling has decided to audition for his school version of Britain's Got Talent. I have NO idea what has brought this on. At Christmas he was appalled at the thought of getting up on stage and speaking in front of an audience and now he has chosen to sing, alone. I'm half expecting him to change his mind when the reality sets in, but for now we await with baited breath. Has he practised? No. He's sung along in the car but if I so much as glance at him out of the corner of my eye then he stops singing abruptly and glares back....tomorrow could be.....interesting.

His question of the week came last night as I tried to relax with a coffee after dinner:

Mummy?
Yes Darling....
If you had a helicopter and stopped the propellors but spun the fuselage would it stay in the air?

Erm, I'll leave you with that.....answers on a postcard?

Writing Forwards...

I wonder, can I still call myself a writer when I don't actually seem to write any more? I've not touched a short story for months and my novel is still, STILL stuck at 8967 words, see I don't even have to look that up any more, I just know it. Sad.

This last 12 months have probably given me more material to work with than any other period in my life but I think maybe I'm just still too far inside it all to actually work with it at the moment. Luckily, I have kept journals for some of the time and, difficult though they will be to read back, I know the intensity of the feelings will be etched on those pages for all time.

I'm currently researching retreats, with the idea of taking 5 days or so to myself later in the year. I'm thinking maybe October as I find that to be an inspirational time of year anyway. I'm not sure where I will go, I am open to all possibilities and trust that the right place will be brought to me at the right time. I am looking forward to it already though.....just me and my laptop, a notebook, a pen and a kettle - what more can a girl need?