Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Writing, more OUCH and eating!

I am so excited at this National Novel Writing Month! I can't wait to get started, although where I think I'm going to magically find the time for all that writing I really can't imagine! I have a few ideas about characters but not much on the plot so far! October will be a busy planning month!

My throat is still a nightmare. Test results back tomorrow and I can FINALLY get the other half of my prescription later this afternoon! I had two of the super duper strength pain killers about an hour ago and they've taken the edge off it but still OUCH!!!

I offiically HATE wikipedia! I've spent hours this morning writing a piece for entry. I made it as factual and uncommercial as was possible and within 5 minutes of me hitting save the thing had been deleted! AARRGGHHHH!!! How soul destroying. I'm not impressed and may need chocolate!

The diet is not going well this week...what with all these visits to the dr it's just not been top of my list of priorities. Hopefully I can pull it back before weigh in day on Friday!

Oh and in case you were wondering....the courgette was delicious!!!!

Monday, 29 September 2008

Ouch, yummy and I must be mad!

Ooooh the excitement, SLA is in the kitchen preparing my courgette for dinner! I'm sure it will taste divine since I grew it myself :)

I ended up back at the Dr's this morning since my throat is worse than ever. The pain is just never ending, everytime I swallow - OUCH! The antibiotics have made no difference at all so I thought I'd best go back. Not that it got me very far really......they've taken a swab, I get the results on Weds and I was prescribed some stronger pain killers and a mouthwash to gargle with....great, except the chemist didn't have the mouthwash. They said they'd have it by this afternoon so we went back. They didn't have it. It will be tomorrow lunchtime. Did I mention OUCH??!!!! I'm also a muppet for reading the leaflet that came with the tablets since I'll manage to convince myself I have all the side effects within 5 mins of swallowing the bloomin' thing.

I have followed Miranda's lead in her blog and have joined up for the the National Novel Writing Month. Yes, I am attempting to write a 50,000 word novel in just 1 month. November to be more precise. I'm looking forward to it although it's a scary thought too! I'm thinking 1613 words per day.......lol. Wish me luck! I'll try to post some excerpts as I go! You can sign up too at http://www.nanowrimo.org/ - the more the merrier!

Mmmmm, the smell emminating from the kitchen is GOOD! Can't wait to tuck in :) Will let you know how I go!

Sunday, 28 September 2008

Walking, a bit of sunshine and a courgette.

Another Sunday in work, and amazingly the sun is shining outside.....doesn't happen very often in North West England! Also another day with a sore throat. I've been taking these antibiotics since Weds and not much seems to be improving so I may be back to the doc later on this week. I honestly hate taking tablets though.......I'll be glad when I'm back to normal.

So far this coming week is a fairly quiet one, at least I hope so. Last week ended up very busy one way and another. SLA is on a school trip for a few days so it will be strange not having him around for those but I'm sure the time will soon pass with the Bean to keep me busy.

One exciting thing from this weekend is the harvesting of my first veggies! I've pulled up my first carrot and now my first courgette too! Yummy! I took photos of them both (don't laugh!) and I'm looking forward to eating the courgette in the next day or so.

Yesterday we had a really lovely day with a walk on the mountain, a walk around a local heritage park, a game of crazy golf and a walk along the sea front, all topped off with an Indian takeaway by the sea. Just perfect :) I really need to figure out how to be more active. Bottom line is that it's just not safe for me to go walking on my own in the country parks, sad but true, but I really detest most other forms of exercise and can't realistically see me sticking to any of them........hmmmm

OK, I'm off to ponder that over a brew......ciao

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Tablets and Parties.

Whoo! I'm almost up and running with my new writing project, or one of them at least! I've been asked to do a weekly blog on the UK Weightwatchers site! YAY! Of course the down side to this is that I also have to transform into a shrinking and increasingly healthy being....hmmm. I HAVE to stick to it this time. Wish me luck. I submit my first piece on Monday!

I ended up at the docs yesterday morning after deciding two weeks is plenty long enough to be suffering with a sore throat. OUCH! I'm now on the delights of antibiotics and feeling like a fish out of water.....with a sore throat. I hope it goes soon! Did I mention that yesterday? Oh well, see what I mean? Feel rough!

The bean has a birthday party to go to this afternoon so I'll have to remember to get a card....honestly I am so unorganised. I do have a present, just not sure there's enough wrapping paper to wrap it...and we've no cellotape... Hmmm, I think I'd best head down to the shops!

Oh and it's time for my antibiotic now too.....which means I can't eat for another hour after taking it. Oh joy, and these things are supposed to be an advance in healthcare? Honestly? lol

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Place your bets now.....

Another day......and still no house work done. Oh well. hehehehe I've been to the Dr this morning since I decided that two weeks is long enough to put up with a sore throat. OUCH! Anyway, I'm now on the delights of antibiotics for a week. I have to take them four times a day, an hour before food! Eh? Feel free to place bets on how long it takes for me to bugger that up, then!

I got my news the other day, and that is that I am starting a weekly blog on a rather large Weightloss site next week! YAY! It's a bit more money coming in too, which is also a help and I'm just over the moon to be getting paid to write. It's just a dream come true. I'm just delighted to be earning for what I love to do - the future is looking bright :)

Tonight we go to look around the Bean's classroom and hear more about how the next two years or so will pan out for him at his new school. He seems to be settling in better now, although he seems to have some built in radar for getting hurt by the roughest boy in the class. We had this at his last school and, from what he said yesterday, it looks like we may be heading down the same road again. I really laboured this morning for him to STAY AWAY from this boy. We'll have to see whether or not it made any difference at all. I never, ever realised just how hard this whole parenting malarky would be. I thought I was fairly prepared but the whole emotional side is just totally overwhelming. It really makes me realised more how difficult things must have been for my mum when it was just the two of us and after losing her mum aged 13. I never really gave it a thought before she died but I realise more and more what an amazing woman she was. I could not have wished for a better Mummy - she was the best.

Monday, 22 September 2008

The Time Hole

Where does the time go? You'd think that I'd have a beautifully clean house, make all my own cards and gifts, bake cakes and pies and make every meal from scratch from fresh ingredients. After all, I'm at home all day. If only!

Take today for example. Drop the Bean off at school and then head down to the supermarket. Do the weekly shop and be home for about 10:30am. Put all said shopping away and clean the kitchen (I'm sure some kind of bomb goes off in there every weekend). Put washing in and put kettle on. Sit down at computer. Check emails, plan articles and generally do writing related stuff but no actual writing. Washing is ready to hang out so do that. Feed all the animals. Back to laptop to realise that the sky has gone black and so bring all washing back in and shove it in the dryer. Go upstairs to try to get rid of the smell in the Bean's room using Bicarb of Soda (see yesterday's blog for more!). Come back downstairs and now I'm writing this......and it's 13:10 already. I still haven't done half the jobs I had planned for the day....no hoovering, no ironing, I've not even had lunch yet......see what I mean??? I'm sure there's some kind of time hole in this house. I would love to be more efficient and productive........any ideas? lol

Anyway, I'll go and shove some soup in the microwave and then try to get some ironing done whilst watching my two Australian soaps......and I hope the smell has gone by the time they've finished too.

Still awaiting some exciting news later on today too...........more to come on that one although how I'll find the time I just don't know!

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Writing, Scarecrows and Sick....nice!

Finally, time to sit down and catch up. It's been a manic few days one way and another.

I don't think I mentioned my 'smug' moment from my writing group on Thursday night. Aled, who runs the group, had brought along an article from writing magazine about time management for freelance writers. As we started reading I noticed many people not really interested and giggling and I soon worked out why. They love to write, but they don't really aim to be published or to share their work. There was only Aled, another gentleman and me who actually get paid for our writing. It took a while to sink in but it's true! Me - a paid writer. Really! I'm still feeling a little smug even now. One day I hope to even get paid for the writing I really enjoy as well as the website writing that I do now. One day........one day!

On Friday I spoke to someone at a rather big weight loss organisation and I will find out on Monday if they like me! If they do then I will start writing for their website regularly :) They have some writing samples at the moment that they are reviewing. Fingers crossed. Of course, the downside of this is that I will actually have to eat healthily...hmmmm. It will be a challenge but would certainly do me the world of good...did I mention that I ate that vanilla slice???

Friday night (well 3am Saturday morning actually) came the shout that makes any parent's stomach contract. 'Mummy, Daddy! I've been sick!' and he had, poor mite. Everywhere. bed, carpet, toys, drawer unit.....you get the picture. I managed to get him back into bed (after changing it) and we got a bit more sleep but a good section of yesterday was spent cleaning, scrubbing and washing... And if anyone has a magic way of getting rid of the SMELL please let me know!

After spending all morning scrubbing we finally went out and had a lovely time. The sun was out, for a change, and so we went for a walk up the mountain. Well, no actually, that sounds much too energetic. We drove up the mountain and had a walk on the top of it. It was lovely. Beautiful views and so many creatures.....a little lizard, lots of dragonflies and some wild cows! Cows are, without doubt, the most beautiful animals. I just adore them and there were about 5 or 6 in this field, 2 of them were paddling in the lake to keep cool. The others seemed very tame. I will share the photos once I've uploaded them.

We then headed over towards the coast, stopping to take in a scarecrow festival on the way. That was great fun - more photos to come from that. We had a game of crazy golf, had a lovely takeaway by the sea and then had a walk along the prom. Just a lovely day all round. Except for the cleaning,that is!

Thursday, 18 September 2008

There's an squatter in my fridge....

Sssshhhhhhh.....I've got a vanilla slice in the fridge. Don't tell anyone. I'm pretending it's not there but I can hear it whispering to me. I don't really know how it got there...no, that's a lie I do, I put it there but I wasn't planning on letting it move in. I take an elderly auntie shopping every Friday morning and she was buying one for herself and wouldn't take no for an answer. And I did try to say no, honestly.

But here I am. And there it is. I've been doing well now that I'm back on Weightwatchers too. I weighed in at 2lbs less this morning which I was over the moon about! whooo! I'm not sure where that leaves my sticky friend in the fridge.

Last night's writing group went well. I enjoyed it. The only thing is that the toilets are locked - and we are there for two hours! I was asked to read my short story first and by the time I'd finished I could have done with a quick trip to the loo......no chance, so I sat there with my legs crossed for an hour and a half listening to the others read. Thankfully there weren't too many water references......what a relief to get home! lol

Amazingly, the sun is out again today. The washing is nearly ready to hang out and everything feels rather summery. Plus it's Friday! I'm always in a better mood on a Friday.

I'm still thinking about that vanilla slice.....oh dear.....

Busy busy busy

Been a busy bee today, running round getting things done. I'd even baked mini muffins by 10:30 am! Impressed aren't you? I can tell! I'll be a domestic goddess one of these days just you see.

I've been writing for most of the day, not least because tonight was the first meeting of my local writing group since May. We have a 6 week break over the Summer. I had written anything suitable to read and so this afternoon I thought I'd better do something about it. I was aiming at a short story but it ended up longer than I originally planned. Still, it went down well I think. I alwasy get a bit paranoid that people just say they enjoyed it when they actually hated every sentence but that's just me - paid up member of the zero confidence club!

More writing to do tomorrow too, of the paid variety this time which is lovely but not so creative. I'm hoping to change that soon :) I'm expecting a phone call in the morning about another possible project too so that's exciting!

Not much else to report, other than the fact it's been a beautiful sunny day here today. That was Summer then. Rain tomorrow, no doubt!

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Love to clean?

Do you like it or hate it? I hate it most of the time. I'm talking about cleaning. Some people love to clean, I often wish I was one of them! Don't get me wrong, I adore the feeling of having a clean, tidy house but actually getting it that way is not my idea of a fun day....(or week depending on how long I've left it!)

I'm not too bad at the hoovering, but the dusting, mopping, and cleaning the bathrooms.....uurrgghh. And that darned shower cubicle in the en-suite - how does anyone get those clean?

This last couple of weeks though I've been getting through my chores more easily. It's since I heard a 'pause for thought' on the radio one Sunday. I like these little sections. There's one on BBC Radio 2 every morning at 9:15am and there's one on Sunday mornings on my way to work. You've probably heard them. Usually it's someone from a religious background, from a variety of religions that speaks about something, anything that affects the life of many people - like a mini sermon if you will. I always enjoy them, no matter who the speaker is. I find anyone who has devoted their life to any religion like this to be very interesting to listen to.

This particular speaker was, I think, a minister from Scotland. He spoke too of the chores in life, of all the little things that we have to do, should do that we simply do not enjoy doing. He turned it around and suggested that, instead of concentrating on 'I don't like doing this' we should maybe try to do the task fuelled by the love of those who will benefit from it. It's a simple shift in understanding but one that has really made a difference. No, I don't like cleaning the bathroom but I love those who will use it and so that, in itself, is a good enough reason to make a good job of it. I don't enjoy ironing, but I love those whose clothes I iron and I love to provide for them in every way I can. If my chores serve to make those around me happy, comfortable and happy then I am, in fact, happy to do them. Even that shower cubicle!

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

I'm a writing loser.

I've started! Writing my new ideas down that is. Only about 20 words so far but hey, it's a start right? I was awake for an HOUR in the early hours of this morning thinking about these ideas that are running around my head. Enough is enough! I'll get more done this later this week but I'm happy that I've at least taken the first steps in what I hope will an exciting project.

The Bean went into school a little better this morning, thank goodness. I don't think I could have coped with another morning of tears! Anyway, he went in without looking back and promised to try to talk to some of his class mates and try to ask them if he could play with them. I hope it's going well! Having said that it has rained all the way through lunch time so they won't be out on the school yard anyway.

Another feel good point of the day was stepping on the scales this morning. I'd put about half a stone on over the Summer holidays. 6 weeks of eating, eating and eating. Well, last week I signed up for a free two week trial of the Weight Watchers online course. I've done weight watchers on and off for a few years now. It does work when I stick to it but I'm not good at the whole consistency thing. I get bored, I grind to a halt. Well, according to this morning's weigh in I have lost 4.5lbs of what I had put back on! YAY! I'm over the moon and determined to keep it up :)

OK, off to run round with the hoover and tidy up a bit before my Neighbours and Home and Away fix in 45 minutes!

Monday, 15 September 2008

Monday Monday (bah bah bah bi bah bah)

Ah shucks, another day of driving away from the school in tears.....I'm going for the record at this rate! The difference being that I am aiming not to worry about the Bean all day. He said on Friday that he'd cheered up within 5 minutes of going in! I was a mess all day! No more. He'll be fine.

I've rediscovered the delights of ginger biscuits! Aren't they heavenly? I've always liked them, my mum and my Grandma were both big fans but there is NOTHING so yummy as a ginger biccie dunked in a cup of tea........Nothing I tell you!

I was planning to get a fair bit of writing work done today but so far it's not going well! By the time I'd got the shopping put away, the kitchen clean, the animals fed and the washing in....well the time is ticking away. I must get something done though. I'm going to start work on a couple of projects this week. Both books. One is a children's book the other, a larger project, a novel. I've had ideas for both going around my head for weeks now, if not months but I've not written anything down. It's getting that they are keeping me awake at night now so I'll have to write something or I'll never get any sleep!

I'll let you know how I get on :)

Oh and by the way, have you spotted the 'following' icon on blogger? I'm 'following' a good few blogs now and it's a great way of keeping up with everyone's latest posts! I highly recommend it! (and add me - I've only got one friend at the moment!)

Sunday, 14 September 2008

The Office

I'll only have this view for another three Sundays......about another 36 hours or so..... This is because I work on Sundays, as I've mentioned before and my company is moving offices. I have worked in this same office for 9 years now. I've sat at the same desk, in the same corner...with this same view and it will be strange to not be here.

We are on the 9th floor of a tower block in the city centre of Manchester and it's like looking out over the world....I look down on a multi storey car park! In the distance I can see the rolling hills framed by the many shapes and colours of the city's roof scape. It's a magical view in many ways and I will miss it.

I have some fabulous memories of this office too.....all the early mornings, starting work at 5:15am. Working alongside my SLA here for many years, that was special. I worked throughout my pregnancy here too, running to the toilet in between bulletins through the dreaded morning sickness phase. I made so many phone calls to my mum from these phones, some in good times, some not and there were many calls to the hospital in the later months too.

I've laughed here. I've cried here. I'll leave a bit of myself in this room when I leave.

One of the first things I did when I found out where we moving too was to get the online map out....I needed to know if there was a Subway nearby. Thankfully, there is. Two in fact!! Whoo! lol I don't know what I'd have done if not, refused to move maybe? Would that have been a little OTT do you think?

I will miss my little jaunt over to my subway for lunch though. It's my small slice of city life :) I used to spend so much time in this city and now the 5 minute walk to and from lunch is enough for me. I like to see the trams winding their way around the city streets, the tall buildings and the hustle and bustle....I always walk back past the front door of the office where my mum worked. I follow her footsteps and I can still hear her stillettoed heels clicking on the floor, smell the familiar smell she had when she came home from work and I can still see her standing inside that door and waiting at the lift. It's almost impossible to think that she is no longer here. Just impossible.

And so, in 3 weeks, we move on to pastures new.......a new chapter, a new office and a new view, a new Subway(!).... I wonder what stories they will bring......

Friday, 12 September 2008

More on schools and writing.

The end of the first full week at school and it's been a real roller coaster ride. The Bean is struggling to settle into his new class still and this morning was the most clingy he has ever been. He told me that when he's in school he doesn't feel happy and that he misses me a lot. That broke my heart. He's never said anything like that before and although it hurt to hear it, I was touched to know that he feels so strongly about me. I've sometimes felt that he didn't really notice when I wasn't there.

This morning has been the hardest yet as he walked away from me so slowly and failing to fight back the tears overflowing from his delicate blue eyes. Once again I dissolved the moment I made it to the safety of the car. I'm am trying to be strong enough for both of us. He's only been there a week, I have to believe that it will get easier as time goes on. I'm hoping that one day he will just click with some of the other children in his class and will make friends...until then, it's going to be hard going.

My inital reaction this morning was to dust off my thoughts on home education. We've been down that road before and it's not something I am completely ruling out for the future if we ever need it, but I can't go down that route because of one bad week...... This is where my impulsiveness can be dangerous. I need to pull right back and persevere. Just because something is hard in short term doesn't mean it isn't the right thing in the long term....I suppose the trick is knowing when the first isn't going to lead to the latter.

I have been feeling more positive about myself and my work though, which is certainly an improvement. I got a lot of writing done yesterday so it will be nice to see the money coming in from that in the next few weeks or so. I've also sent a few more emails out for queries too and I've been reading up on the blogs of some of my favourite authors too. I have so many ideas in my head for novels and other books but I never seem to get around to writing any of them down. I must. I read in one of the blogs yesterday that even writing 400 words a day I could have a novel written in 6 months. That does sound doable.....I am going to have a go. I also want to get the next assignment done on my writing course....I started this course over two years ago and I have got past Assignment 5 yet, Ooops. In my defence, though, one of the main reasons is that I've actually been busy writing and earning so I'm sure my tutor will understand! Thank goodness there is no time limit on completing it!

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Friends and Washing Machines!

I've gone from one extreme to the other today in some ways.....after spending most of yesterday firing off emails and hoping for some more work, I have now been inundated from all angles! And none of it came from any of the emails from yesterday. Typical! Oh well, lol. It'll keep me busy for the next week or so that's for sure :)

This morning was challenging to say the least. I dropped the Bean off at his new school and, for the first time, he was reluctant to go in. It broke my heart. He really seems to be struggling to make friends in his new class. I know he's only been there a week but normally, by now, he would have at least found someone who he wanted to play with. It didn't help that one little girl in the year below, who Harry has known for several years, has told him that she's not his friend. All perfectly normal behaviour for this age group I know, but so upsetting for those on the receiving end. So far he says he hasn't played with anyone and doesn't really talk to anyone, except the teachers. This is fairly typical in some ways though as he generally prefers to talk to adults rather than other children.

Once again I found myself in tears as I drove away from the school. I wanted to know what I should do. What could I do? I wanted to offload, to share and to be told everything would be OK. I couldn't, however, think of anyone I actaully wanted to talk to at the time. I wanted to be comforted but wouldn't have wanted to meet with any of my friends. I just don't have that kind of relationship with them really.

I came back home and was standing in the middle of the kitchen with my washing liquid in one hand and my fabric conditioner in the other when the reality of it finally hit me. I wanted my mum. I missed my mum. No wonder I couldn't work out which of my friends I could put in to the role of the comforter....no one could ever fill it. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks and I spent the next ten minutes unconsoleably crying over my washing machine (must have looked tragic!).

I do feel better for having got the chemicals out of my system at least. It has also answered some of this 'lost' feeling that I have had lately. I still have a HUGE hole in my life that will never be filled, I just have to work around it. Sometimes I forget just how big a readjustment this is. I shouldn't. I'm doing well but I need to cut myself some slack sometimes.

I'm going to have a word with the Bean's teacher tomorrow and just give her the heads up that he's struggling to find friends. I'm sure he will soon find people to play with. He's such a precious boy......and I've got lots of work to be getting on with to keep me busy! If I need a cry tomorrow though, I think I'll find somewhere a little more comfortable!

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

A ramble through my head

Remember when I said I was planning a major life overhaul in September? Well, nothing's happened. Don't get me wrong I still feel in need of one but when you can't even find the motivation to start then you're a bit buggered really! I'm now into my second week of having 6 hours a day to myself whilst the Bean and SLA are in school and what have I done about this rut I am stuck in? Precisely nothing.

I find it strange that some people are so motivated that they never stop doing things, going places and getting on with stuff whereas I just seem to sit back with a brew and think 'Oooh that's nice'. I NEVER actually do anything myself. I tell myself that everything costs money and that is one of the reasons why but I'm just fooling myself. It goes much deeper than that and, in truth, I've always been the same. I think I'll just have to accept that I am lazy.

So, if I take that step further where does it lead me? Is being lazy something that can be changed or worked on or is it a fairly permament state? Is it like being born with two arms or five fingers or is it something I can change. Maybe it's like having a brown hair - I can change it by dying it but hell, the roots would still come through the old colour and I'd just be trying to be something I'm not.

See I'm just waffling now.....but I just have this inbuilt uneasiness about life at the moment. I want to change it - I really do - but I just don't know where to start. I seem to have all but lost the confidence I had when I was younger and I think a lot of that is due to working from home now.

When I was working with others there was constant feedback, appraisals and conversation. Now there is the sound of the washing machine and my laptop keyboard. I think I find that hard sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy time on my own, in fact I think I'm becoming more of a hermit than ever, but I do crave the assessment and feedback I used to have. It's a real way of keeping your confidence and self esteem high when other people tell you that you are doing a good job. Sometimes I am envious of SLA in this way. As a teacher he gets a lot of this support and success - everytime his students learn something new, pass a test or get a good grade in an exam - everytime and with every student that is partly down to him. That must feel fantastic.

I don't know what the answer is........not much of a blog entry this really. Sorry about that. lol If I suddenly have a flash of inspiration you'll be the first to know I promise. Best go and empty the washing machine....it's all gone quiet.

Friday, 5 September 2008

Under the raincloud in more ways than one.

Winter is here. Well, maybe it's Autumn but one thing is for sure Summer has gone. That's if it actually ever came and I think that's debatable this year. We've had the wettest August on record and now, on the 5th September, the forecast is for rain and wind all day as the first Autumn storms roll in off the Atlantic. Fantastic.

I must admit though that I actually quite like sitting inside, nice and cosy and watching it bucket down outside. I love the sound of the rain on the windows. In my dad's old house they had a conservatory and I used to adore the sound of the rain falling on the roof in there too. It reminded me of a line from a poem we studied in school, I think it was by John Betjeman....it was simply about sounds and one of them was 'The sound of the rain on the galvanised roof'. It's always stuck with me although I don't really enjoy much of his work to be honest.

The only down thing about this sort of weather is that it makes me reach for comfort food. I took an elderly Auntie out to the shops this morning and managed to pick up a HUGE vanilla slice cake. Mmmmmm. I brought it home and had eaten it within the hour. Don't get me wrong, it was delicious but I have been trying to lose weight now for 4 years and I'm just not getting anywhere. It really gets me down at times. I don't want to be this size. I despise it. But I seem to lack the motivation or the gumption to actually do anything about it. I hate that about me. We're already planning a lovely holiday for next Summer and I don't want to feel like a beached whale and be so self concious about my body by then and I KNOW I have the time to get to my goal. It's just myself that gets in the way. I really must try again to sort out some sort of plan because at the moment I'm getting nowhere.

I've also done a fabulous job of putting off work all morning.....it's almost midday. Enough is enough. I must get it done!

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Oooh I'm quite rare!

I've just read Sunshine's latest blog and thought I'd have a go at the test of personality types....apparently I am a healer idealist. This makes me fairly rare, less than 1% of the population! Wow! Anyway, here's what it has to say about me and it's scarily accurate.

Idealist Portrait of the Healer (INFP)

Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.

I love completing tests like this....I suppose that must be part of the personality too. lol

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

My Little Friend

Well, here we are, as if the last 6 weeks hadn't happened in many ways. The Bean is in his new school.......in fact he should just be finishing up with his packed lunch... and all in all it wasn't as bad as last year! I made a pact with my eyes as we pulled up into the car park that any tears would be held back until I returned to the car. Thankfully they listened and kept their side of the bargain.

The Bean was a little quiet as he went to stand with his new class mates....it's not like him but is understandable. He waved to me as they filed up the stairs and into the school and my heart did a little somersault as I watched him walk into the unknown surrounded by all these people he had never met before. I slowly walked back down to the car and had a good cry before I turned the ignition key. It's daft really. All the things that would normally drive me mad I was missing. The thousands of questions.....the noise......the little hand pawing at me as I tried to get things done. Instead I had space, quiet and stillness....I missed my little friend.

Once home I busied myself about the house and despite spending ages on cleaning and tidying I don't seem to have even scratched the surface of what needs doing. After an hour and a half or so I decided enough was enough and put the kettle on and got out the laptop....I'm still here. Ooops. I must get some more done soon.

So that's the day so far. I'm clock watching a bit but am now starting to relax a bit more. I really hope he's making lots of new friends and having fun....I bet when I pick him up it'll be like getting blood out of a stone trying to get any information out of him too! Typical!

Well, I'm going to get some more work done now......only 2 and a half hours til I go pick him up. What a precious, noisy little lump he is!