Facebook is for Life, Not just for Christmas.....

...or for any other short period in life! Or so it would seem.

Like many I sometimes question the amount of time I spend on Facebook. When I open my laptop I automatically go straight to Facebook. I don't know when or how this started happening but last week I decided enough was enough! There is more to life - there is a whole real world out here. And why I speak to people on Facebook when I can just speak to them in work....well, quite frankly, it baffles me!

And so, last Monday evening, I thought I'd do something about it. I was adamant. I was reclaiming my laptop. It's for my writing, first and foremost, not for social networking (and certainly not for social stalking!). And so, I made the big gesture. I hit the 'deactivate' button. There is no delete button, of course. Ever. Once you're signed up, you're there for life!

So there I was. Ever so proud. I was deactivated. I had disappeared from the Facebook alternative universe....my life was my own again. Wasn't it? Quick answer? No.

Next, the emails started......why had I deleted people from my friends on Facebook? I hadn't, of course, but this is how it appeared to my friends who had searched for me. I then had to send emails a plenty explaining that I hadn't deleted them, I had just deactivated my account and was spending some time away from Facebook. Next came more emails....was I OK? I'd been very quiet on Facebook recently..... more replies...., yes I'm fine thank you...and I'm just taking a break....etc etc ... By this point the texts had also started...... and replying to everything was actually taking more time than if I'd just stayed as I was!

And so, this morning, I reactivated my account...and updated my status to say that I haven't deleted anyone but am having a break from Facebook. What happens? People start replying to it...and asking questions....and writing on my wall! My conclusion? It is impossible to take a break from Facebook..........when you are lucky enough to have lots of wonderful friends who look out for you and miss you when you're not there. But, be warned....Facebook at your own risk - there is no way out!!!!

Tales of the White Stuff

Wow. What a day. As I sit here the snowing is falling gently outside onto the garden, which already looks as if it has been layed with cotton wool. It looks beautiful....until you have to go out in it of course!

This morning I had a bit of a shock as there was no snow at home. None. Not a flake and there wasn't even any ice. I thought how nice it was to be that little bit warmer, left my gloves at home and settled into the car for the hour journey into work. Imagine the shock when, all at once, I found myself driving through heavy falling snow. Scary doesn't quite cover it! Within a few minutes I was through it and thought it was just a freak snow shower......until, another few minutes down the motorway, it started again! And got heavier. And stuck. Until there was only one lane of the motorway that was open. I knew then it was going to be a busy day.

And it was. I parked the car and trudged into the office, only to find out that I could probably have parked in the car park underneath! Of course this is where my job is one of the most frustrating in the world.........when it snows we are busy! You will have heard travel reports on the radio when it snows...they are long! Road closures, accidents, abandoned vehicles, cancelled trains.....you name it. But of course, this means we have to get into work....and can everyone get into work in that much snow? No. Of course not. So on our busiest days....we have fewest staff! It's just the way it goes, and it made for a very busy shift today! I haven't eaten anything properly yet! The way it's looking now, I don't think I will be able to get into work tomorrow.......it looks like the road out of the estate to the main road is blocked! Oh deary dear....and to think, now I know I could park in the car park! Typical!

Warm and cosy

Heee, this is the life. I'm sitting on the sofa in my pyjamas and dressing gown...with a large warm fleece over my legs (let's not mention the fact it's green with Ben 10 on it!), with the fire roaring away in front of me and a mixture of Enigma and Goldfrapp on Spotify. Fabulous!

I've had a fairly good day on the whole, although a visit to my mum's grave was a very emotional one. Still, I think that does me good. It grounds me. Reminds me of who I am. It's easy to forget sometimes as I get so wound up in things that are going on around me these days. There's no point, I can't control them. I need to concentrate on me.

So, that's what I've done. I've written my blog for the weightwatchers website today (I'm amazed to only have gained half a pound over Christmas!) so that is now sent and I have also spent some time working on my novel too. I would have liked to have spent longer really but Harry wanted me to watch 'How it's Made - Super Cars' with him......so the laptop went into hibernate but at least I know how to make a crash test dummy and that there's a 3 year wait for a Ferrari spaghetti (or whatever it was called!).

Tomorrow - BIG CLEAN DAY and I have to take all the Christmas decorations down....see, the four trees don't seem like a good idea now do they? Whatever possessed me??????

In awe of words

They're great aren't they? Words? I know since a lot of people who read this blog are fellow writers that you will probably agree but I've been thinking about them a lot today. You see, maybe I should be embarrassed to admit this, but I've rediscovered the humble wordsearch....you know the ones, a list of words to find in a grid of letters? I used to do them as a child with my Grandma and Auntie Ivy (wonderful memories) and so when I had a long train journey ahead of me a couple of weeks ago I thought I'd relive my youth and buy a book of them from the newsagent on the station platform.

As it happened I didn't open it all the way there. It snowed and the scenery was far too beautiful to miss out on on (as was the rather good looking chap who sat opposite me!) and so the book remained closed. However, I now have it by my bed (the book that is, not the handsome young man!)and have taken to doing at least one puzzle every night before I go to sleep. I wish I'd done it years ago. It's so relaxing and has really opened my eyes to the 'world of words' again. It's so easy to take them forgranted.

I don't know about you but I can't just get into bed and sleep....I could once but I think there is too much going around my head at the moment. It doesn't switch off that easily and words really are the way of quietening it down and focusing on something.....on slowing down and relaxing. Most nights this involves a mixture of a wordsearch and then a chapter of whichever book I am reading. It works a treat. But I now find myself in pure wonderment of words.....aren't they fantabulous?!

On the Cusp

Well, here we are then...on the cusp of a New Year, a new decade....a whole new period of magical changes and exciting happenings. It's a big day and I can feel the air vibrating with anticipation this morning. It's a strange time for me, with the changes that have taken place in my life over the last few months but it means that for the first time in years I am fully in control of my own choices and plans.....well, me and the flow of destiny anyway. Infact, one of my main aims this coming year is to give myself more fully to the energy of the universe and to trust in the magic that is all around me. Yes, I can control my inner conditions, I can control my mind and my feelings but I have to accept more freely that I cannot always control the outer conditions and that which goes on around me. I have to simply be me....as I read in a quotation somewhere....'Be yourself...everyone else is taken'.

I'm so determined that 2010 will be a creative year for me, in many ways. I am already planning my writing goals and I am looking forward to plugging away at them. I am hoping to promote myself more too, in all aspects of my work and I am also trying to find ways to be more positive. I am all too easily led into feeling negative, feeling down and like a victim......it's a trait that runs through my family! No more! It doesn't do me any good, it certainly doesn't do those around me any good and it attracts nothing but negative responses from the rest of my life....that's no good to me and I'm going to do my utmost to turn it around. If I start posting negative blogs then PLEASE, someone, slap me! (Metaphorically of course!)

So there, we go.....this will, no doubt be my last blog of 2009.....wishing you all love and light....and a happy, healthy and magical 2010.

On the seventh day of limbo my true love gave to me....

They're odd, aren't they? These few days between Christmas and the New Year? I don't quite know what to think about or what to do with myself, it's frought with contradictions and opposites! I mean, for example, it's the BIG sales in the shops, Boxing Day sales are the big thing these days of course and after a trip to the Trafford Centre yesterday the people were out in their hundreds (thousands?!) to pick up the savings on offer and hit each other about the calves with bulging bags.....but, is it just me, or is the day after Christmas the last day you feel you can go shopping? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to - but Christmas itself is such a strain on the old purse strings there is no way in the world I could go on a spending spree on Boxing Day! Maybe after the next payday, if I'm lucky....though after being paid early for Christmas that seems a very long way away at the moment!

And then there's the more emotional, spiritual limbo.........it's a fantastic time to look forward to the New Year of course and consider what changes you may like to make to life.... Again, this year, for the (enter x here)th time, my resolutions include losing weight. To be fair, I'm not doing badly but I have further to go..(enter shameless plug for my blog on http://www.weightwatchers.co.uk/). But, do I start now, or do I wait for the 1st Jan 2010 and play a silent fanfare to myself before filling up the fruit bowl? I mean, I'm still surrounded by non weight loss food....still at least half a Christmas cake to finish, the mince pies are only half eaten and the Christmas pudding we couldn't face on the day is still still in the wrapper.... so do I somehow get rid of all this and start the diet properly again now? Or do I eat all the fatty stuff and give myself more work to do in the New Year? Decisions, decisions eh?

As for my writing....well, I'm determined to crack on in 2010, it's been too long. I have short stories written that I have done nothing with and my novel has been sitting at a little under 9000 words now for over a year. No more. I'm going to re read it in the next day or so and hope some inspiration hits me as I do. This is my first novel and so it's like starting a drive to Africa, without a map. I'm hoping there will be some signposts along the way! Needless to say, if anyone has a spare hour and would like to read it so far then please let me know. I am going through a stage of wondering whether it's any good and worth carrying on with! Insecure? Me? Never! lol

The Mind of Solstice

What is it about this time of year that feels so magical and promising? The festive season never fails to touch me in this way. I may struggle with the whole buying, wrapping and exchanging gifts bit (although I've never been THIS far behind before!) but the Winter solstice always leads me to parts of my soul and my mind that other times of year don't. Maybe it's the promise of the New Year just around the corner. A time for rethinking, for planning and for promising. A time when it's fine to reassess what you have and want you want from your life and a time for working out how you can take those first steps to get there. It's a time filled with faith and with hope for the future.

For me this it particularly evident this year but looking back 12 months I find just as inspiring. I would never, not in a million years, have expected to be in the situation I find myself today. And that just goes to show me that, yes it's great to look ahead and think of goals I want to achieve, but it's also a time to wonder at the journey that is life. We can never know where we may be taken next. We never can plan for the hills and valleys, for the people and forks we encounter along our path. So, as much as I am enjoying looking forward to 2010 I am also wondering in amazement at the things I cannot know. I have a few places I would like to stop by and visit in the next 12 months, I have people I would love to share the journey with, but I must never be blinded by these alone. For in doing that, I will miss so much.